Dual....:-)
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
