dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
