Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
pray to the hookup gods
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