I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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