We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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