Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
that's an acceptable place to lick
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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