3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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