I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
