You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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