there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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