Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
