No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he fucked my hip out of place.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
