I could make wine with my vomit
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
