when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
