k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
