I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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