your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
