I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
