something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
