Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
