the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
