please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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