Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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