You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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