i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
