awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
