Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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