I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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