I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
