He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
