Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
