Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
