I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I party with great urgency now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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