Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
