Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
