I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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