How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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