i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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