oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
