I wanna bring you to show and tell
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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