apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
