we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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