He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
