Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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