I am puke
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize