You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
