i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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