strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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