It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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