"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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