if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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