i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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